September marks the beginning of an exciting yet challenging time for many families. Children taking their first steps into school — or moving to a new class — may show signs of adjustment anxiety: tears, sleep disruptions, stomachaches, or clinginess. These reactions are not signs that something is wrong; they are developmentally expected stress responses.
Why Does School Anxiety Happen?
Several different factors may underlie school anxiety: separation anxiety, fear of social evaluation, academic pressure, or previous negative school experiences. It is especially common for this anxiety to emerge during the transition to primary school and the move from primary to secondary school.
If your child doesn't want to go to school, ask "why?" — not "why won't you?" Listening comes before problem-solving.
What Families Can Do
- Prepare before school begins. Visit the classroom, meet the teacher, and pack the school bag together a few weeks before the first day. When the unknown becomes visible, anxiety decreases.
- Create a goodbye ritual. A consistent, clear farewell — "I love you, I'll be here at 3 o'clock" — builds trust. Prolonged, hesitant goodbyes tend to increase anxiety.
- Normalize emotions. Saying "It's normal to feel nervous — I felt that way on my first days too" helps your child feel less alone.
- Talk after school with open questions. Instead of "How was your day?", try "What caught your attention most today?" or "Who did you see in your class?" Open-ended questions tend to get more honest answers.
- Don't become an escape partner. Allowing a child to avoid school because of anxiety provides short-term relief but reinforces the anxiety over time.
- Collaborate with the teacher. Share any changes you've noticed in your child; classroom observation offers valuable perspective that complements what you see at home.
When Is Professional Support Needed?
If school refusal or anxiety lasts more than a few weeks, significantly disrupts daily functioning, or physical symptoms (stomachache, headache, sleep problems) become persistent, consulting a child psychologist can accelerate the process and prevent the anxiety from deepening.