"Can we get a dog?" is one of the most frequently asked questions in family households around the world. For parents, the answer involves practical considerations — but research suggests that the psychological benefits of growing up with a pet are worth taking seriously. The human-animal bond, particularly in childhood, can be a significant developmental resource.
Empathy Development
Empathy — the capacity to recognize and share the feelings of another — is one of the most important social-emotional skills a child can develop. Pets provide a unique context for empathy development because they communicate non-verbally: a child must pay attention to a pet's body language, sounds, and behavior to understand its state.
Research shows that children who grow up with pets score higher on measures of empathy and prosocial behavior. They also develop a more nuanced understanding of emotions by learning to read non-verbal cues — a skill that transfers to human relationships.
When a child learns to notice that their dog is anxious before a thunderstorm, they are practicing the foundational skill of perspective-taking — seeing the world through another being's experience.
Emotional Regulation and Comfort
Pets, particularly dogs and cats, are consistent, non-judgmental presences. They provide comfort simply through proximity and physical contact. Research shows that interacting with pets triggers the release of oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and reduces cortisol (the stress hormone), with these effects documented in children as well as adults.
For children who struggle with anxiety or emotional regulation, having a pet to turn to during difficult moments can be genuinely therapeutic. Many school counseling programs now incorporate therapy animals for this reason.
Responsibility and Competence
Caring for a pet is one of the most concrete and meaningful ways a child can develop a sense of responsibility. Unlike chores, which can feel arbitrary, caring for a pet has an obvious living being at stake — the child can see directly that their actions make a difference.
Age-appropriate pet care responsibilities — filling a water bowl, brushing a cat, walking a dog — build self-efficacy (the belief that one's actions matter) while connecting the child to a sense of competence and contribution to the family.
Social Development
Pets can also support children's social development. Research has found that children with pets have more opportunities for social interaction — pet owners talk to each other; walking a dog generates conversations; classmates ask about pets.
Additionally, children often use pets as social bridges: it can be easier to introduce yourself when accompanied by a dog, and conversations about pets are low-stakes social exchanges that build social confidence.
Grief and Loss: Difficult but Important
Pets have shorter lifespans than humans, which means that many children who grow up with pets will experience the death of their pet during childhood or adolescence. While this is painful, it can also serve as a child's first experience of loss — in a context where the intensity is manageable and the support of parents is available.
Handled thoughtfully, a pet's death can be an important opportunity for children to develop their capacity for grief and recovery — skills they will need throughout life. Parents who are honest, emotionally present, and allow genuine mourning support healthy grief processing in children.
Considerations Before Getting a Pet
The developmental benefits of pets are real, but they depend on the context being appropriate:
- The child's age and temperament should match the animal's needs and characteristics
- Adult supervision is always necessary, especially with young children and larger animals
- Care responsibilities should be genuinely shared and age-appropriate, not placed entirely on the child
- The animal's wellbeing matters — a pet that is neglected or improperly cared for teaches different lessons
Conclusion
The research on children and pets is largely positive: growing up with a well-cared-for pet is associated with stronger empathy, better emotional regulation, greater responsibility, and richer social development. The pet-child bond, at its best, is a relationship of mutual care that teaches children something profound about what it means to be connected to another living being.